How does the saying go? Ah, yes, two things you can always be certain of — death and taxes.
We, in the United States, all face the latter on a daily basis. We, in our household, faced the former last week. My Mima went "home." It wasn't a long, drawn out process…in fact, from the time she went into the hospital til the day she died was only one weeks. One week. Up until this point, each of my close family loved ones that have died have gone quickly…unexpectedly. I've never before been in the position of sitting in a room with someone just waiting for them to die...until now that is.
Unfortunately, in our society, we do not deal well with death. There is no real grieving tradition. Once you have buried your loved one, you're expected to get on with life as usual. Huh. In addition to getting on with life as usual, you must accomplish a mountain of paperwork…sharing with the world again and again that your loved one has died.
Don't get me wrong. My Mother, Grandma, Mima…they all had a relationship with Jesus, so I do not mourn "as those who have no hope." I will see them again, but being left behind is really a hard thing.
It's awkward and uncomfortable, and no one knows what to say. And really, they shouldn't say anything because there's a good chance that it will be the wrong thing. If you do want to do something…
Give me a hug.
Tell me you're so sorry for my loss.
If you really are going to do it, tell me that you're praying for me and my family.
Bring paper goods with the food you bring and have the food in dishes that I don't have to return.
Death is pretty inevitable, that is no lie. And for those that know Jesus, once they die, their circumstances get a whole heck of a lot better. But being the one who's left behind…ugh.
Death is horrible for those without Jesus and rough on those who are left behind.
There's no doubt about it — death sucks.